Anonymous1: Smaug: Two-hundred years. TWO-HUNDRED YEARS! Do you have any idea what it's like having the Arkenstone stuck in your ass for two centuries after you ate it by mistake? The agony! And then I find out the only decent dragon-proctologists live in The Shire. Over 5000 miles away!! It's hard enough sending a telegram that distance when you don't have every messenger run away from you. Ugh.
Bilbo: Stop squirming! I almost have it...
Bilbo: Stop squirming! I almost have it...