An_Onymous: (Which is not to say that it has no connection to volition at all, merely that you can't determine with any real certainty whether or not a guy wants it by looking at his penis. It's quite possible to get an erection during rape, and similarly it's quite possible to want sex and not be hard.)
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And yeah, wanking on sleeping Shinji does seem like the sort of thing Gendo would do.
Also, I hate to keep harping on this, but #4, erection status is not a guide to volition. STFU.